Get out of the jungle
“Living” in New York City- okay traveling here every month since July I have been exposed to the intricacies of the city life. The people, the nightlife, the emotions, the hardships. I can’t help but feel like Carrie Bradshaw. Sitting by the snowy filled streets with my thoughts in hand contemplating a future book deal I feel compelled to squeeze out every emotion in this post. Swinging in and out of the NYC nightlife- the clubs, the drugs, the beautifully flawed people. Some are my friends, some merely faces that at the right time, with the right amount of alcohol are recognizable. The irony of this city, is that even when you are surrounded by hundreds, drink in hand, the music bashing against your hips – you can feel completely alone. You become vulnerable to the one person you want, the one person who may not necessarily give you the time of day.
The game is alive more than ever here. That ridiculous game that you want to believe everyone eventually grows out of. The game of dating, swinging from person to person, communicating merely to fill your own ego. It is all alive and electrified in this place of millions. We are all hurt. We have all been hurt. We all come from hidden stories filled with aches and pain, and we are all jaded. So we fall into the trap of becoming a piece in the game because there seems to be no other option.
We forget to remain human. We forget that becoming a piece on that gameboard is harmful, it’s toxic. Much like animals in a jungle, we program ourselves to survive and look out for ourselves alone. To hunt, prey, sleep- somehow in the frenzy of survival we forget to let our guards down. We miss the idea that to be human and to survive means you must also love. You must also drench yourself in beautiful emotions of passion, and untouchable bliss. The sex will fulfill you to some degree, the alcohol will calm you, the drugs will sedate your mind and emotions, but nothing will make you feel what it feels to be loved by another. To relate to someone who accepts your flaws, and appreciates your past regardless of where you come from. There is nothing more calming than touching the skin of another who wants to make love to your soul, not simply your body.
Carrie and Big found their way out of the jungle- I wish the same for each and every one of you.